Personal Reflections of 2024: Barely Holding On

After the inauguration this year, I have been watching the news with horror.  The motivation to write an assessment of how 2024 has impacted me personally has been on the back burner for quite a while because the politics up to now (namely, the Trump administration) has shattered my sense of hope. I considered whether even writing another year-end review, let alone another blog, was something I still wanted to do.

I found myself thinking pessimistically and trying to pin the blame on someone -- anyone!  I questioned why people had voted for this idiot we have as a president.  I looked with disgust and distrust at people that I have loved, liked and tolerated who hold very, very different opinions about how our country should be run.

I had high hopes for 2024.  The end of the year knocked me to my knees.  Any progress that I had made on a personal level was overshadowed by despair but to really recap the year, I had to reflect on all aspects -- personal and public.

HEALTH

Throughout the year, months after recovering from my meniscus tear, I had problems with my knee and hip/back support.  I was still walking up and down our stairs slowly and deliberately.  Eventually, my husband and I joined the gym at the Senior Center and managed to actually make it…until my knee acted up again.

Last year, a couple issues with my husband's health came up. His first PSA count of the year was high and a subsequent biopsy found cancer -- luckily, in early stages.  We talked about a prostate surgery to remove the cancer but, when we were trying to figure out when to schedule it, we realized that his commitments shortened the possible times for the surgery.   We decided to monitor his symptoms for the year. Months later, his PSA count dropped.  Another few months later, it dropped again.  The doctor agreed that it didn't make sense to have surgery and regularly monitoring his PSA counts was sufficient.

Another issue was my husband's ability to digest food.  There were too many occasions where the food, no matter how masticated, seemed to slow down in his esophagus and would cause him to hiccup incessantly.  He had visited the doctors years ago but it seemed his paperwork was lost and we never heard back about what the problem was.  So, in 2024, he visited another doctor and, this time, he was very lucky to find one who had years of experience with this problem.  The doctor quickly diagnosed that my husband had scar tissue in the opening of his esophagus and that it would take a small dilation procedure to fix it.  The problem wasn't resolved in 2024. The next appointment for a biopsy and dilation was months away. Still, we were both hopeful that there was a resolution.

Our physical health issues reminded us that our old bodies were not as robust as they once were. I did hydrate regularly and eat healthier but sugar (especially, good chocolate) beckoned me constantly.

PROJECTS

I really did attempt to get to projects that I wanted to finish; although, for the month of July, the Olympic games were magnets that distracted me from those goals.  (That was remarkable because, in the past, I was never interested.  I guess the venues in Paris were too alluring!)

I noticed that, if my projects were smaller, less expensive and involved less people, I was somewhat successful.  I did manage to organize and cull my crafts room, the guest room, our closet, my books and DVDs.  My attempt to grow herbs from seed and tomatoes hydroponically started out great but, as soon as I transferred them outside, the weather did not cooperate and I lost most of my crop. 

The largest project last year was having our roof fixed.  It had been delayed too long and it was becoming an emergency.  We had a serious leak in the guest bedroom during the storms of January and February.  After forking over a ridiculous amount of money, we finally replaced our roof, the fascia boards and underlying structure.  It was a mess so we were glad it was finally fixed!   The best surprise was that, during the construction, we and the roofers were able to watch the total eclipse of the sun -- they, on a perfect spot on the roof, and we, just below them.  It was my first perfect viewing of a total eclipse in all my years!

I continued to try a myriad of new recipes.  I became very comfortable trying new techniques and tastes.  My husband found a perfect app for me, Cookbook Manager, to collect and manage the recipes that I had tried and those that I still wanted to try.  Even that was a project!

All of this virtually stopped when the election ended.  I didn't want to watch the news but there was too much going on DAILY that I couldn't ignore.  This depressed me and insinuated itself in my peaceful and productive life.  The end of the year was a blur.

COMMUNITY

I continued my monthly (or close-to-monthly lunches) with my few friends.  My husband and I joined one friend to a Dodgers game and to a couple Quakes games nearby.  We became Dodgers fans as well and really enjoyed watching baseball, particularly the new Japanese players, Shohei Ohtani and Yoshi Yamamoto.  We even watched the whole World Series and were thrilled that the Dodgers won!

My husband and I re-connected with an old work buddy from 20 years before.  We had heard, years ago, that he had died from a heart attack and, then, my sister discovered that he was still alive and working locally.  She wrangled a phone number and we called to meet.  A couple of lunches later, we were on a regular lunch date circuit.

Our newest next-door neighbors finally moved in.  Initially, we saw them quite a lot and were happy to help acclimate them to the neighborhood and city.  Eventually, though, they had their own lives and jobs, and we saw them less.  Yet, as with our other neighbors, we had so many moments of community that I can still say that I love our neighborhood.

FAMILY

Both my husband and I took small weekend trips with our siblings.  In both cases, it was so nice to give our closest family members the attention and love that they deserved. 

My sister's short-term boarder ended up being that -- short term.  By the year's end, she moved out and my sister felt relieved.  She adopted a kitten she rescued on the freeway.  She was thrilled that her dog accepted this new interloper.  I was happy that the stress of a boarder was relieved and that she found another body to pour love into.

We continued our regular weekend visits with my husband's family, in spite of a large number of ailments and injuries.  We were happy to be the people they could share their happiness and confide their frustrations to. While their 2024 was not an ideal year health-wise, they were able to survive real frustrations and obstacles with their faith. 

My father was living the life he wanted in Colorado.  Occasionally, we'd get calls about a computer problem (which were difficult to resolve offline) but he seemed to be happy with the community of his neighborhood.  There were times, I'll admit, when I wondered if I should intervene because, at his age, he was making decisions that were questionable but I didn't think that I was powerful or close enough to change his actions.

My niece continued to excel at work, getting promotions upon promotions.  She and her husband, also, continued to help coach a local high school band and drum corps on a regular basis.  They took a nice trip to London to supervise them at the London New Year Parade.  It was quite a trip…and quite a lot of work!  By year end, her husband was laid off due to corporate restructuring (that was expected months ago).  I was impressed with his ability to handle this with patience and no drama. Their lives together were becoming enriched with work, friends and each other. They were finding their niche in life. 

My nephew and his wife decided to take a decked-out camper across America to Florida for a six-month-long trip.  It was so inspiring to see a couple so in tune with each other that travelling together in small quarters did not result in a divorce!  In fact, it seemed to strengthen their relationship. 

Despite all the health issues, retirement still kept its luster last year.  My husband continued to play in a Big Band, work on woodworking projects and provide musical coaching assistance in a local high school.

We added thrice-weekly walks in the local park to our dog's routine.  In all, her walk routine included three walks per day.  These changes helped her become more comfortable around new people and less reactive to other dogs (although, not completely -- she still doesn't like dogs with pointed ears). 

Being retired on a fixed income, though, was tested all year.  We discovered that our expenses (utilities, health, insurance costs and food) increased by 10-40%.  As everyone else realized, the inflation rate may have been decreasing but it was not translating to us personally.  

WHAT'S NEXT

It is April as I am writing this and I am trying to get motivated to add another exercise regiment besides walking.   I have started taking probiotics to decrease my cravings for sugar. 

Outside of my physical health, my goals last year of being more creative (art projects, home decorating projects) and being more organized (digitizing videos/photos, home inventory, etc.) was barely considered.  I just recently bought a NokBox kit to organize everything for our estate and Next of Kin.  I just started working on it. 

This blog is still questionable to me.  I think it's helpful to me to jot down and formulate cohesive arguments before spouting off personal opinions to anyone.   Also, I am a heavy reader of way too many subjects.  Being overly analytical, it takes an enormous amount of research to validate everything I've read and to encapsulate it into smaller, digestible tidbits.  I have the time but the question is whether it's worth it. 

After reflecting on 2024, I realize how much my family and friends make a difference in my mental health.  While the results of the election were difficult for me to get back to my routine and find positivity, being with them always mattered.  We didn't have to talk politics.  In fact, in many cases, they didn't feel the same way that I did but those that did were very, very important to me.  They were great sounding boards. 

I find that, for 2025, I'm looking to find a place to make a difference myself.  How it will manifest itself is still unknown.   Do I concentrate on helping those closest to me?  Do I act outside of the tiny world that I am in?  Do I find a way to make use of all of this research I do to help educate others that don't have the time?  We'll see. 

Let's hope that 2025 is the year that I get my act together! I've never realized this before but I cherish the support and love from my family and friends to carry me through. I ended 2024 with cynicism and sadness but, while the beginning few months of 2025 were the same, I see just a glimmer of optimism. Like "The Little Engine That Could", I will climb difficult terrain to get to the other side!